Love brought Tommie Wehrle to real estate.
“I had my own corporate event business, and I had applied to the [Federal Bureau of Investigation]. I had gone through a couple of the interviews already, and I was waiting for the last background check,” she said, laughing. “But I met somebody and fell in love, and they happened to be a real estate broker.”
Wehrle got her license and purchased a RE/MAX franchise with her partner five months later — a decision that sparked a 33-year career with some of the industry’s largest real estate brands. Amid her moves as a broker-owner and leadership instructor, Wehrle never lost track of her first passion, LGBTQ+ advocacy.
Tommie Wehrle
“I attended those [LGBTQ+ rights] marches in 1993. I was the first dinner co-chair for the Human Rights Campaign,” she said. “That’s where I learned to lobby. I spoke with Missouri politicians such as John Ashcroft, John Danforth, Kit Bond, and Dick Gephardt. Oh, those names are dating me, but I started my advocacy a long time ago.”
Wehrle is excited to bring that experience to the LGBTQ+ Real Estate Alliance as its 2026 president. The group has spent the past several years navigating highs and lows, from making progress in pushing the National Association of Realtors’ Realtor Political Action Committee (RPAC) to stop funding discriminatory legislators to the dramatic exit of its co-founder.
Wehrle said the Alliance is resilient and ready to fight amid turning political tides, which have put LGBTQ+ marriage and workplace rights at risk.
“I’m excited about the possibility of what we can actually create in the midst of the chaos that’s occurring,” she said. “We can unite people and create a community that’s bigger and stronger than it has been in the past.”
The following interview has been edited for length and clarity.
Inman: How did your advocacy journey start?
Wehrle: It started when I became a program leader with an organization called Landmark Worldwide. I was meeting with another program leader, Ronnie, and I wasn’t out yet. I had actually had a fake boyfriend, and I was a fake girlfriend, for many men that I knew.
And I came out to Ronnie, and he said, ‘You know you’re going to have to come out the rest of your life.’ He also said, ‘The only way anybody is going to understand your community is if you come out. Because right now, you’re a mystery.’ It really was that conversation that had me start thinking, ‘Oh, I do need [to do this] in order for people to understand my community and where I’m coming from.’
And at the time, I didn’t realize how spot on he was. I came out to my parents, and they were great about it. And my dad worked for St. Louis County at the time, and he taught me to stand up for what was important to me. And my mother is fierce, and she taught me the same thing as well. We didn’t see eye to eye all the time, but we often had these great political debates.
I realized I can stand up. I can start speaking up on behalf of our community.
I’d like to go deeper into what your friend Ronnie said about always coming out. What has that choice looked like over the years, especially in real estate?
In real estate, my identity hasn’t always been easily accepted.
One time, I was showing a home to a client, and I had my son with me. The client asked a question about my husband and his opinion on something, and I didn’t correct her. But I answered the question, saying, ‘Yeah, they agree.’ My son caught that and said, ‘Mom…’ And I said, ‘I don’t have an ex-husband. I have an ex-wife.’
I never heard from that client again. And there have been plenty of other experiences like that. So there have been consequences, right, to living openly. But I always think of the quote, and I’m probably paraphrasing this terribly, ‘If not me, then who?’
I love that you brought up that quote. I believe it effectively captures the Alliance’s mission and actions. How are you thinking about the Alliance’s goals in the coming year, especially as we navigate an increasingly polarized political environment?
I think we have to be smart, and we have to be strategic in our advocacy. We don’t always have to agree, but I also don’t think we jeopardize who we are. I don’t think we jeopardize our humanity.
I want the Alliance to take the opportunity to reach across the table and engage in dialog that could be profound, and move the needle forward in ending housing discrimination in the LGBTQ+ community. But I know there will be a moment or a time when somebody pushes something, and we’ve got to say, ‘No. You’ve got to go your way. And we’ll go our way.’
But I think there’s an opportunity to learn from everyone. You know, Stephen Covey has a quote that, ‘If there are two people in the same room that agree, one person isn’t necessary.’ And I really had to think about that.
I mean, even within our own community, we don’t agree. We are so diverse, racially, ethnically and even in our LGBTQ+ identities. We’ve got to listen, we’ve got to communicate, we’ve got to be smart, we’ve got to be proactive, and at times, be patient as well.
The Alliance is built for this. I want us to empower our local leaders in our chapters to use their voice because one voice alone is not enough. We need to expand our membership so more people can advocate on behalf of what we stand for. Just look at the results of the elections across the country [this week]. It took a lot of voices to make that happen.
When you think about the year ahead, what are you most excited about? And ultimately, what do you want your legacy as president to be?
I’m excited about the possibility of what we can actually create in the midst of the chaos that’s occurring. We can unite people and create a community that’s bigger and stronger than it has been in the past.
I’m excited about the possibility of creating more chapters. I’m excited about the possibility of partnerships with other organizations and what we can all gain when we band together. I am so happy today that things that happened [with the elections] last night, because if we had this interview before then, I think I’d be a little bit more skeptical. But what we saw last night is going to breathe something fresh into that resignation that many people had.
I look forward to the possibility of what we can create. I want to ensure that my dad’s support and training weren’t for naught, that we can still create a world where we are all created equal. And you know, the Alliance is going to be a part of that.
