Want to make faster connections with clients and colleagues? Listen to the sensory language they use, and align with their preferred processing style, Bernice Ross suggests.

Ever wonder why you and a particular client didn’t connect? Do certain client types drive you crazy, but you just don’t know why? The answer may be in recognizing whether you (and your clients) process information visually (V), auditorily (A) or kinesthetically (K).

Psychologists have demonstrated we use all three modalities (sight, hearing and touch) when we process information, but usually one modality (sense) is preferred. When you understand these differences, you can build stronger trust, tailor your communication and, ultimately, close more sales.

Recognizing the 3 styles

  • Visual processors care deeply about how things look. They speak quickly and tend to be detail-oriented, especially about color, design or aesthetics.  
  • Auditory processors focus on how things sound. Key signals that your client is auditory include phrases like “quiet location” or “tell me more.”
  • Kinesthetic processors prioritize how things feel. They speak slowly and deliberately, process more deeply, and prefer comfort to how things look or sound.

The importance of recognizing these differences 

When there is a “mismatch” in styles, you can create distrust, and you no longer operate at peak effectiveness. For example, when you have a fast-talking visual processor working with a slow-moving, slow-talking, thoughtful kinesthetic processor, they will drive each other bonkers. 

The kinesthetic keeps saying, “It just doesn’t feel right.” The visual doesn’t understand what “doesn’t feel right” means because it’s such a “great-looking property.”

In the meantime, the kinesthetic individual doesn’t “trust” the visual because the visual’s rate of speech “pushes” the kinesthetic to process information faster or differently than normal. Because most kinesthetics need time to think things through, the perceived “pushiness” may result in the kinesthetic client looking for a different agent. 

Speak their language

Once you identify a client’s dominant style, you can reflect it in your language and presentation. Here’s how to spot their preferred modality and how to connect.

Keywords that will let you recognize your client’s style

  • Visual: I see, look, picture, “light and bright,” “great view”
  • Auditory: I hear, sounds good, quiet, “tell me about…”
  • Kinesthetic: I feel, warm and cozy, comfortable, “feels right”

Preferred type of communication

  • Visual processors prefer face-to-face meetings and written communication. Don’t count on them to remember what you say. Always put it in writing.
  • Auditory processors favor phone conversations and spoken explanations. Talk them through the contracts, but always follow up in writing about what was said in the conversation. 
  • Kinesthetic processors require time to build trust and rapport. Also, pay special attention to details, and follow up in writing. Be patient, consistent and thorough.

How they speak

Visual:

  • “I love the way the home looks from the street.”
  • “I could stare at this view for hours.”
  • “This room looks perfect for our grand piano.”

Auditory:

  • “I hear the market is improving.”
  • “Let me know what new listings sound like a good fit.”
  • “Be sure to tell me right away about any new listings that sound like they would be a good fit.” 

Kinesthetic:

  • “I feel like this market is shifting.”
  • “This property just doesn’t feel right to me.”
  • “That kitchen feels so warm and homey.”

Phrases to use with each type

Visual:

  • “How does that look to you?”
  • “Let’s see what the numbers say.”
  • “Can you picture how this space might work?”

Auditory:

  • “I heard about a new listing.”
  • “Does that sound good to you?”
  • “What do you say about Friday at 11 a.m.?”

Kinesthetic:

  • “How do you feel about this offer?”
  • “I sense this could be a great fit.”
  • “This security system helps people feel safer.”

When clients don’t match

What if Bill is visual and Mary is kinesthetic? Speak to both:

“Bill, I can see this is the right house for you — and Mary, I have a hunch you feel that way, too.”

Spend the next week practicing this language shift. Begin by carefully listening to what your clients say. Next, match their pace and their style using phrases like the ones above. Chances are, you will be pleasantly surprised by the great response.

Bernice Ross is president and CEO of BrokerageUP and RealEstateCoach.com, the founder of Profit.RealEstate and a national speaker, author and trainer with over 1,500 published articles.

Bernice Ross
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