Most buyers and sellers believe that selecting a real estate agent is as straightforward as choosing someone with a license. But let’s be honest: Having a license means you passed a test. It doesn’t mean you know how to negotiate, market or close deals.
How do people really choose a real estate agent?
After 15-plus years in this business, here’s what I’ve seen:
1. Trust and vibe check beat experience (in most cases)
Yes, experience matters. But if someone doesn’t trust (or like) their agent, it’s game over. Buyers and sellers want someone they can connect with, someone who listens, communicates effectively and has their best interests at heart.
I’ve seen first-time agents land million-dollar listings because they were genuine and likable. Don’t underestimate the power of being a good human.
Pro tip for agents: Build rapport before you pitch your resume. Most agents walk into a listing appointment or buyer consultation with a stack of stats and a pitch deck. And don’t get me wrong, having credentials is essential. But what actually wins the deal? Connection.
Before you talk about how many homes you’ve sold or how many awards you’ve won, ask better questions. Learn their “why.” Why are they selling? Why are they buying? What’s their dream outcome? What’s stressing them out?
People don’t want to be sold — they want to be understood. When they feel like you get them, they start to trust you. And when they trust you, the decision to hire you becomes natural.
2. Social proof is everything
Referrals and online reviews are the modern-day resume. People Google you before they call you. If your online presence is weak or outdated, you’re losing deals before the first conversation even begins. Video testimonials, Google reviews and a strong Instagram presence have a significant impact.
Sellers, in particular, want to see that you’ve delivered results. Leverage things like before and after photos, client testimonials, case studies, marketing plans, sold stats, etc.
3. Marketing matters (a lot more than you think)
Buyers and sellers want an agent who will market the property professionally. High-quality photos, videos showcasing the property, beautiful print collateral, social media ads, reels, email blasts: These things sell homes.
In a competitive market, your marketing plan can make or break the deal.
Smart sellers look for agents who are also great marketers. If you’re snapping iPhone pics and putting listings on the MLS, you’re missing a big opportunity.
4. Negotiation skills close the deal
People don’t want a door opener. They want a deal closer. Buyers wish for someone who can get them a reasonable price. Sellers want someone who can secure the highest offer for them. Period. Negotiation is where real pros shine.
Real tip: Buyers and sellers should always ask, “What’s your negotiation strategy?” If the agent doesn’t have an honest answer, move on.
5. Consistency builds authority
Agents who consistently show up on social media, in newsletters and in the community build familiarity. And familiarity leads to trust. I’ve had people call us out of the blue after years of following our content, even if we never talked before. Why? Because the consistency has built trust equity in their minds, and now they feel like they know us.
Agents, if you’re not creating content, you’re invisible.
Bonus: If you feel like you need help in this department, take a look at this interview with Mike Cuevas, “The Real Estate Marketing Dude.”
Final word for real estate agents
Your vibe, marketing, negotiation skills and visibility are your brand. People aren’t just picking an agent; they’re choosing the person they believe will get them the best outcome for their situation. Good luck, and act accordingly.
Oliver Graf is the co-founder of Big Block Realty in Oceanside, California, and an industry-leading marketing and fulfillment expert. You can connect with him on Facebook, Instagram, or LinkedIn.
